I used to live a chaotic life. Growing up and being surrounded by people – who have huge range of emotional outbursts or need to be constantly stimulated to “feel alive” – felt normal to me and having inner peace was a different reality that I did not know how to grasp.
Decades went on and one day, my mental health hit rock bottom. I realized that this pattern is costing my life and I had enough. I need to protect my inner peace.
But first, how to have inner peace?
I started listening to myself and seeking a life that I truly want.
While doing that, I also get to learn how to cultivate inner peace in my life and here’s what I did:
1. Know what you want and do not want in your life
Even if you are not sure, at least, start with what you do not want and you’ll eventually find out what you want. With clarity, you’ll be able to cultivate your own inner peace.
2. Learn to say “no”
Be brave to turn down things, behavior or people (even the old versions of you) that are not aligned with what you want and need in life. Stop people pleasing.
3. Accept people for who they are
Not for the potential you see or project on them. If you keep having to correct or wish them to fit into a certain ideal that you have, then it is certainly not the right match.
4. Learn to identity unhealthy relationship patterns that felt familiar and stop 👏 repeating 👏 them 👏
You’ll always be too much for people who have too little for you. It’s not their fault that their capacity is limited but you are responsible for choosing the people who get to stay in your life.
5. Know that you are enough
Stop trying to prove your worth and overextending yourself to serve others at the expense of self-negligence. You should be loved for who you are and not what you do for others.
6. Realize that people project their unhealed trauma and it’s not personal
More than often, people tell you things that reflect their own reality and wounds. Don’t take that personally. Keep doing you and draw boundaries.
7. Accept that everyone has their own unique journey and pace in life
Stop comparing yourself with others. Focus on yourself, your own happiness and the adventures in life that you want to take.
8. Accept that not everyone will understand you
Some people are committed to misunderstanding you. Let them be. Go live your life to the fullest instead.
9. Accept that not everyone will like you
Let those people filter themselves out of your life. When you like yourself enough, you will find your own people.
10. Accept that you don’t have to be right all the time
Save your breathe for more important things in your life. When talking to loved ones, seek to listen actively, ask the right questions and learn to understand them better instead of trying to prove that you are correct.
11. Let go of what you cannot control
Focus on what you can do and let the universe do the magic.
12. Stop trying to “save” or “fix” everyone and let them make their own mistakes
While helping others often comes from a good place, it can become really unhealthy when you’re constantly trying to “save” or “fix” others and forget about taking care of yourself. Give others the space to grow and learn. Let them take the responsibility to solve their own challenges. Go “save” yourself and “fix” your own problems instead.
13. Learn to have self compassion
Give attention to the parts of you that need love and support.
14. Take a break from social media
Are you constantly on it to fill a void in your life? Instead of distracting yourself, can you use your time better to cultivate new habits that could eventually transform your life over time?
15. Value and protect your own privacy
Oversharing is overrated. Your privacy is your inner peace too.
16. Listen to your own winner’s voice
That’s the most important voice that you need to listen to. The voice that is empowering, the voice that is gentle and kind, the voice that leads you to your dream life.
Cultivating inner peace in life is not an overnight process.
You have to be patient with yourself while take small steps every day to build the mindset, habits and behaviors that serve you and your inner peace. It is a skill that you can get better with practice.